SELF-ASSESSMENT ON MY MICRO TEACHING PERFORMANCE

My Reactions

Well, I felt a little bit nervous when receiving feedback because I knew my performance had not been as good as I expected. However, the feedback my classmates and teacher was not that bad. Then, I had the opportunity to provide feedback to my classmates. It was interesting to pay attention to their performance in order to give constructive feedback that can help them realize about their strengths and challenges. I tried to be objective and mature when telleing them my observations. 

Anything Surprising?

I have to say that I knew the mistakes I made before receiving feedback. I already knew it had been not my best performance, and that I could have done it better. So it was not surprising at all. My classmates and teacher told me that I should have choosen a shorter warm up activity in order not to run out of time. Since my classmates are advanced learners, I thought it was going to be easy for them to complete the task. Unfortunately, I could not finish the warm up activity, and that affected my performance. 

My Strengths

According to the feedback received, my strengths are: good tone of voice, classroom management, good language skills, and mobility. I think I can still improve them, and that is why I am still in the learning process. I know I still have a long way to go to improve my teaching practice. I will continue studying as long as I can in order to get more knowledge and experience that can be seen in the way I teach.  

Areas of Improvement

The judges suggested me to think carefully about the kind of activity I choose as warm up because the one I developed was too long and kind of boring, and I totally agreed. So I think the first thing I have to do is to learn how to chose the activities according to the kind of students and time I have. Second,  I need to learn to adapt my activities in order to make them more suitable for my reality. Thrird, I need to add more enthusiasm, especially when the activities are not that interesting for the students. Finally, I need to rehears more before teaching.     

THE HIDDEN WHOLENESS: PARADOX IN TEACHING AND LEARNING

      SUFFERING IN THE CLASSROOM

   I have experienced suffering in the classroom many times. I have had classes in which I feel the topics are boring and I am so boring as well. Obviously, during a class I try to pretend everything is OK but inside my head and my heart everything is different. Another example could be when an activity I had planned seemed to be “perfect”, but when I try to do it in class, everything goes wrong. Maybe, I don’t  give instructions correctly, my students are not in the mood for participating, the activity was not appropriate for the level of my students, or simply, that is not the correct time or place to do it. However, I strongly believe that every cloud has a silver lining. So we need to think out of the box when experimenting suffering in the classroom. In this way we can think critically and identify the things we did wrong, the things that were not good enough, and maybe external factors that affected you without realizing it on time. By identifying the possible mistakes, we can take advantage of the redemptive quality of suffering that is to learn from our bad experiences taking out the positive aspects of it in order to be better professionals.

 GIFTS AND STRUGGLES

 .      I am a teacher who likes to listen to students and provide feedback every time it is necessary, I also think I am self-confident and honest; I am sure of what I know and what I can do. But I am also aware of I don’t know and what I cannot do. So when I don’t know something I am honest and say, “I don’t know. Sorry. I will try to find it out.” However I also face struggles in teaching such as students being forced to study something they don’t like and as a result, students who think you are the responsible of their suffering. Thistranslates into students who do not participate, do not attend classes regularly, do not do homework assignment, do not pay attention, etc. This kind of attitude breaks rapport and interferes with the flow of the class. At the end, it does not matter how well you prepare your lesson, but you and your class always suck for them. That makes me feel angry, sad, and disappointed at the same time. But I have learnt that even though we sometimes failed as teachers, that is not the only reason why we get in troubles in the classroom. There are sometimes external circumstances that you cannot avoid and change. We need to be aware that we are required to look for new ways to make your classes a blockbuster, but at the same time, we must be aware of all the circumstances that are out of our reach. As Palmer says, “To become a better teacher, I must nurture a sense of self that both does and does not depend on the responses of others-- and that is a true paradox.” (Page 73).

    

GOOD MOMENTS AND BAD MOMENTS  

   Last time I was observed, I did a great job that even the coordinator congratulated me. I felt so happy and satisfied. I guess that that class was a hit because I was well-prepared, natural, friendly, and a good listener. We had a very friendly and communicative class. I had talked to my students in advance, so they knew we were going to be observed. They really chipped in in order to have a good class. I learned that communications is really important to make things work. On the other hand, once I was teaching a group of teenagers from public schools who were supposed to be the cream of the crop, but when I started teaching, I realized some of them had very poor English and did not want to participate at all. They were very shy and didn’t want to speak in English when they were asked to. I remember those classes were a pain in the neck .I tried to change their minds but I couldn’t. I felt just the worst teacher in the world. I didn’t know how to deal with this problem correctly. At the end, they were taken out of the program because they didn’t want to sweat the shirt. 

 BOUNDARIES AND FLEXIBILITY

 

      I will focus on the first paradox “The space should be bounded and open.” I always try to have my students on track. I mean, I always ask them to speak about the topic we are studying in order to reach our goal.  However, I also try to make sure they are able to speak their minds and go beyond in order to reach that goal. Palmer thinks that boundaries remind us we have a destination, but openness reminds us we have different ways to reach that destination as we travel together(P. 75). In the past, I guess only half of the paradox was honored because when we were students at school, we were taught traditionally. I mean, we were taught in a restricted environment in which we were not allowed to give opinions and think out of the box. Everything was given by the teacher, and we didn’t have the freedom to say what we thought. We were not supposed to find any other way to solve a task. Everything was already established. Most of the time, those classes were boring, predictable and meaningless. In other words, everything was carved in stone.

 QUESTIONING MYSELF                       

 

         There are a lot of questions I am living now. Some of them seem to be not that important but others seem to be really important such as should I look for a full time job and stop studying? Am I going to continue studying for three more years? Am I a really good teacher? How can I better my classes? And the like. All of them seem to be related to my professional development, but inevitably linked to other areas of my life such as family, economy, and self-esteem.  They are not exactly the questions I would like to be facing now, but I cannot avoid it because it is the reality I am living. So I need to face the music and try to find the best answers I can. I have to pay attention to them and put them in the center of my focus because they are relevant in my daily life. Somehow, they give direction to my life and influence every single step I take. 

A CULTURE OF FEAR: EDUCATION AND THE DISCONNECTED LIFE

Fear is fundamental to the human condition and to the academic culture. We will always have our fears, but we need to be our fears.

FEARS IN THE CLASSROOM

Some of my fears in the classroom are the following ones:

·         Fear of not being liked by my students: every time I am about to teach a new group, I wonder what kind of students I am going to have and what I can do in order to be liked by them. I have learned that the only way to do so is by being yourself all the time. Being honest is the best way to show your students you are just like them; a person with fears, a person that makes mistakes, and a person who is willing to learn from each other. In the end, there are always students who like you, others who dislike you and sometimes, others that hate you. 

·         Fear of being the typical boring teacher: since students have different backgrounds, interests, motivations, learning styles and the like, it is really difficult to find a way in order to make classes fun and interesting for everybody. What may seem meaningful and nice for some students may seem for the birds for some others. It is our responsibility as teacher to try to come up with variety of “meaningful” activities that take into account students´ differences.  Besides, I have also learned that a “not-boring” class is not the one in which the teacher is telling jokes all the time, or the one in which students do whatever they want. A “not-boring” class is the one in which students feel engaged, motivated, comfortable, willing and free to participate. In order to do so, we must bring significant activities to our classrooms and forget about basing our lesson on the book, but on our students´ real needs. I totally agree with Palmer when she expresses, “The way we diagnose our students´ condition will determine the kind of remedy we offer” (P. 41 )This means that we need to think more of the condition our students have, and forget about prejudices in order to see them as they really are. In this way, we can offer a suitable remedy for their needs.  

  

·         Fear of finding the student from hell: “The student from hell is an archetype that can take male or female form.” (P. 43) I have had some students that misbehave and disrupt the class, and make the classroom a “hell”. I always wonder if I will have one next entry. I have also learned that sometimes they misbehave because of external factors such as family, economic, and even phycological problems, not necessarily because our class is boring. Sometimes, they just want to live in their own world while being in class. I have dealt with them by acknowledging they are not the center of the class; even though, they need special attention.  It is useful to let them know they are as important as the others. Some teachers focus more on the student from hell that on the rest, but this is not actually the solution. This only destroys hospitality because the student from hell feels pointed and overwhelmed, and the others feel ignored and displaced.        

BEING HOSPITABLE

Offering hospitability is key in order to create rapport in the classroom. Everybody likes being welcome and feeling important. A hospitable environment offers safety, freedom, motivation and confidence that enrich the learning process. One way to provide hospitality is by being objective and treating everybody in the same way; without preferences. Another way is by taking into account everybody´s opinions and differences. In this way, we can show them they are the center of the class. Being hospitable means being polite, gentle and nice. Hospitality means serving others.

Hospitality benefits students, but it benefits teacher even more because by being hospitable, we create a hospitable atmosphere in which the learning process flows adequately.           

A FEAR ONCE CONTROLLED ME

When I was in high school I realized I was afraid of looking at people´s eyes while talking to them. I was very shy, especially with girls. I needed to confront that fear if I wanted to socialize with people. I could overcome that problem by realizing about the mistake I was making. Then, I continued trying to keep on track by socializing more. I learned that having eye contact with the person you are talking to is really important since it means you are really paying attention to them. At the same time, it is a good way to have a more friendly and meaningful conversation. Nowadays, I am a teacher and I really try to continue working on this (since it is not the same talking to a person than talking to a class) in order to make my students feel important and willing to participate. Paraphrasing Palmer (page 40), I can say that I was freed from my fear neither by technique nor by structural reform but rather by insight into how and why my fear dominated my life.         

THE HIGHEST FORM OF LOVE

According to Evelyn Fox Keller the highest form of love is that that allows for intimacy without the annihilation of difference (P. 55). This kind of love can be developed in our classrooms by being authentic and letting students know they are free to speak their minds. Creating a space in which everybody feels free and engaged is our job as teachers. We also have to teach our students that the highest form of love does not necessarily mean to “love”, but to respect and accept everybody just the way they are. In the same way they would be able to apply that love in their real life. I mean, they will be able to be tolerant and respectful in a world full of differences; differences that make everybody unique and interesting. If teachers and students learn to love the world, everything will be better. We will learn how to deal with this heterogeneous world.         

 

FIRST ENTRY ON LEARNING TEACHING

STUDENT AWARENESS ON HOW THEY BEST LEARN

First of all, we, as teachers, have to be aware of the diversity of students we have. We should know that in our classrooms we have mixed-up students; they have different backgrounds, needs, expectations, strengths, challenges, and objectives.  The first step we can take is a needs assessment in order to get our student´s real needs, expectations, wants, and goals. After getting and analyzing the data, we can have a clearer view of our class. We can prioritize the needs that seem to be more important and let our students know about it. Besides, we have to realize we have different individuals, and that every single student is unique. So we must have a variety of activities and tasks related to the different learning styles and multiple intelligences.  If the learners do not know what kind of learner they are or what intelligence/s they possess the most, we can also administer a test for them to realize the kind of activities in which they can learn more effectively and efficiently. This can also help our students go beyond and try different sources and activities on their own in order to master the language. To sum up, we have to be guides and facilitators who only guide the process, give advice, and ideas. The students are the ones who learn by themselves; in other words, they learn by trying, making mistakes, correcting mistakes, trying again, and producing the language effectively at the end.

ERROR CORRECTION

I would try to do it in a very smooth and friendly way so that my students don’t feel embarrassed or criticized. Besides, it could be a good idea to talk to your students since the very beginning and let them know that making mistakes is not bad or negative. On the contrary, let them know that making mistakes is great because it is the only way to learn and better our English skills. However, the specific way you correct your students vary depending on the context, the kind of activity (Listening, reading, speaking or writing), and the time we have to do so. For example, when giving opinions, instead of cutting the flow of the speakers interrupting with the right word, phrase, collocation, or pronunciation, you can wait until they finish the idea and then, you paraphrase his opinion correcting the mistakes.  Let´s imagine the student says, “I go yesterday to Guatemala”. You might repeat his idea by saying, “Nice! So you WENT to Guatemala YESTERDAY .” Another example could be when having a mini presentation, a role play or an impromptu speech. It is a good idea to take notes in a notepad, and give feedback and the end of the activity without mentioning names. But if you have already built confidence and rapport among the class you could also be specific and personalized error correction so that they realize about their own mistakes. As I said before, instead of correcting mistakes the way we were taught when we were at school, look for more friendly ways of doing it. Smiling while correcting is a good idea, if you do it in a friendly and positive way. 
What about testing? Well, testing is a good tool in order to check the progress of the learners. It is a excellent way to identify mistakes and provide feedback. However, it is not a good idea to rely on it. Sometimes, our student´s needs go beyond a grade. They want to communicate using the target language; they want to be understood, no matter the "mistakes" they could make. We should remember that a number (a grade) sometimes does not reflect the reality regarding our student´s learning progress.            

TEACHING TEENS OR LARGE CLASSES?

Teaching teens or teaching large classes? It is a good question. What do I consider more difficult? Well, both cases are equally challenging since in both cases we have to think out of the box in order to make our lessons interesting, useful, and meaningful. However, they have differences and similarities. Some differences are that in large groups we have very different interests, while in a group of teens the interests are similar (but not the same). Another difference is the flow of your lessons, and the way you teach; I mean, most teens are very active and they like creative and active activities. Moreover, most of them posses previous language of the target language; that´s why, they don´t like spending much time on basic stuff. On the other hand, in large classes, we find diversity of ages, and as a result, a diversity of likes and dislikes. Some people like moving around all the time, while other prefer being sitting down all the time. We have to be careful with this since some activities that might be fun for some people might be embarrassing or disgusting for others. What about the similarities? Despite you are teaching teens or a large class, you know that every single person is different from one another. So we must pay attention to different learning styles, purposes, moods, and the like at the same time. This is really challenging in both scenarios. Besides, in both cases, students want to feel they are making progress, to feel they are not wasting their time, and money. So this means we have to be clever and adapt our lessons to their real needs and interests. We must bring meaningful real-life lessons to the classroooms; it doesn´t matter you are teching teens or large classses.      

Venn Diagram